Hello future kids. I will now tell you about how me and your father met. It all started with
me, your father Cryogen and Niks were vibin playing CS:GO. Then Nova and Jord joins. You know Nova and Jord, your uncles. After that this disgusting ugly Iran sounding Danish guy named “Mush” joins the voice room aswell. It gets very hostile, I felt the tension and the heat. I felt sweat dripping to my kneecaps and then I hear this disgusting ugly Iran sounding Danish guy Mush say your uncle Nova’s real name. I was shook and so saw your father. We didn’t know how to react. Me and your father had sex that night. Very rough and adventurous sex. It was the start of something new. Our life together. We will remember this night for as long as we live. We decided that night that we wanted to have kids together. Adopt a Chinese boy, yes that’s you Ramen-Coke. Yes we named you Ramen because your father loves Ramen, and we also named you Coke because well. I love coke. We wanted a Chinese kid for the money basically. Sadly you grew up to be a fucking shithead like your uncle Nova. Anyhow I’m going off track here. After the night we had sex for the first time and Mush said uncle Nova’s real name. We became a thing. Things moved very quickly.
After just 2 weeks he met my mom and dad. They really liked him. They did not like the way he touched me while we were at the dinner table. But other than that they liked him very much.
3 weeks in to our relationship I met your father Cryogen’s 2 fathers. They did not approve of the fact that we were gay but we didn’t care. We loved eachother, nothing could ever stop us. The same night as we met your father Cryogen’s fathers we had rough and loud sex just so they could hear us. Your father Cryogen screamed so much, almost like I raped him. I have never heard him scream that loud before. I was impressed. I realized at that moment what a hot slut of a boyfriend I had. Almost came just thinking about that night. After that night I never met your father Cryogen’s fathers again. But that didn’t bother us, cause like I said before. We were too much in love.
5 weeks into our relationship we agreed to also get a African American child. Just so that kid could make us money from going pro in baseball. Yes that’s how we got you Charlie. We named you Charlie because well we knew the moment we met you at the adoption center that we would not like you at all. We both knew a guy through gangwarsrp named Charlie and we didn’t like him aswell.
2 months into our relationship we started fighting more, the “honeymoon period” as they call it was over. We fought over the fact that your father Cryogen took it more in the ass than I did. I wanted to be fucked sometimes aswell. We fought over the fact that he had a girlfriend before me. I didn’t like the thought of him being with a woman. I wanted him to only like men. But when I got mad at him for having a girlfriend before me I always thought of the time when he talked to me on the phone and let me hear him break up with his girlfriend. He told her to “Know her place” which is my catchphrase I used in gangwarsrp. He also called her a “fucking dog” which was also my catchphrase in gangwarsrp. I realize what a alpha male boy I have as a boyfriend. So it makes us stop fighting about the fact that he had a girlfriend and we have sex instead. Cause the thought of him telling her to “Know her place” and a “fucking dog” makes my penis wet every time. Talking about places, it was also around this time that we started looking at houses together. Where we could build our dream life with you guys, Ramen-Coke and Charlie.
5 months into our relationship we found a beautiful house in the same neighborhood as your uncle Jord and uncle Nova. I know it’s weird that both your uncles live together. But that’s what kind of family I have. My stoner friend Puff also lives in that neighborhood. I love Puff. I call him Puffy sometimes cause I think it sounds cute. I have many times thought of cheating on your father Cryogen with Puff. But the thought of messing up the chance of getting rich because of you Charlie just makes me not do it.
9 months into our relationship we moved into that house in the same neighborhood as your uncle Jord and uncle Nova. We really like it here. It’s family friendly except that Puff grows weed in his garden. But obviously we don’t let you guys hang out at Puff’s place. That would just be irresponsible.
1 year into our relationship we went to Beijing to adopt you Ramen-Coke. We had a lovely time there until we met you. But we felt that you would become something big within the industry of making well everything, fucking everything is made in China right? Fucking hell. Anyways, we chose you like Ash chose Pikachu and then we went back home to our lovely home. You got to meet everyone the day we came home. You met uncle Jord and he said in his disgusting Wales accent “Wha’ the fock is this den’? A fucking Chinese kid!?”. Your father Cryogen quickly told him to know his fucking place. I got turned on, could not stop thinking about what your father Cryogen said to Jord that whole day. I was horny throughout that whole day, we had rough and loud sex that night. Not as loud as we had when we were at your father Cryogen’s fathers place, but almost. Your uncle Nova didn’t say much. He was scared of Chinese people. My friend Puff don’t even remember that day, he was way too stoned. Fucking dog.
1 year and 3 months into our relationship we went on vacation to Washington. We saw lots of cool stuff, your uncle Jord and uncle Nova was taking care of you Ramen-Coke in the meantime. Obviously we didn’t want to buy a ticket for you to go with us. Because well, we don’t want to spend money on your ugly ass. Anyhow we went there and had a great time together. Hotel sex is always good. We then found an adoption center and we both thought “Hey, great time to adopt a African American right?” so that’s what we did. We saw you that day Charlie, we knew because of your very large right arm that you would be great at baseball. How you managed to get a larger right arm than left we are not sure of. But we had our theories. We then adopted you and brought you home with us to Ramen-Coke. You only met my friend Puff and your uncle Jord that day Charlie. Your uncle Nova didn’t want to come over, he thought you were going to rob him or shoot him. This is why your uncle Nova doesn’t come over anymore when you’re home Charlie. Puff and you really clicked Charlie, we didn’t like the way he offered you weed when you were only 9 years old at the time but we let it slip.
2 years into our relationship Puff started getting feelings for me. It went to his head so much that one day when I was out making money on the streets he broke in to our house and killed your father Cryogen. I came home devastated, my boyfriend Cryogen with the fat cock was dead. I was sad for many many days. Until Puff one day came over with weed. We smoked so much weed that day. We had sex that night. So now that is how Puff became your new father.